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We finish up in the Crab and Quill and we mean it in all possible ways!
© 2011 G.N. Jacobs
George got the answer he needed from the network and sent his last unassigned dragonfly after the couple. The insect camera raced across the bar flapping green gossamer wings and lighted on an out of the way corner of the women’s room. Luckily for the clearance department the bathroom was empty.
“Apparently the network is in a ratings war and needs a sweeps spike,” George said. “We’ll run it with a disclaimer.”
Tim and Magda entered the bathroom and closed the privacy screen, which made the glass door opaque. George activated the camera on the dragonfly. Harold went to work tapping commands into his data pad. George signaled at just the right time when the footage would be the hottest. The gravity and the privacy screen failed at the same time.
Tim and Magda were both current in their Zero-G training and so they moved gracefully through their lovemaking. The pranksters had been hoping for a disorganized cluster-frag to create something to tease Tim with in the future. What they got was an artistic three dimensional erotic ballet that even stuffy Neo-Christians could appreciate.
“Two things are clear,” Harold said raising his beer in salute. “We hired the right girl and she lied to us about her lack of spacer’s skills.”
George laughed. “Fellas, you should’ve asked me first. Everyone in my business knows that the talent always lies to get a job.”
The men shrugged and waved for more beer. Tim and Magda went for seconds to the cheers of the bar patrons. They went for thirds before pausing for a breather. The standing ovation finally clued them in that they were performing for an audience. Tim shrugged into his jumpsuit and bowed while kicking off the ceiling. Magda reacted as if she were the captain of the cheerleading squad caught with her English teacher.
She flounced her hair as she poured herself into her clothes. Even her jump to the door to manage the transition back into station normal gravity was pure poetry. Her fury filled the room and spiked the ratings, when the show aired three months later.
“All I ask for is a little Goddamn courtesy!” Magda fumed. “I like popping cherries, it’s a holy mission, but, No, you have to turn it into a free porno. Lose my number, gentlemen.”
Ben tried to apologize, but Magda put up her hand. Then she threw her fee which she’d taken in actual cash in the man’s face. She spun on her heels to face Tim.
“I should’ve told you what I am, I’m sorry,” Magda said.
“Mags, it doesn’t make this any less special,” Tim said with a sincerity that takes years to learn to fake.
Magda’s heart melted. “So what now, Tiger?” she asked.
Tim took her elbow smiling. “Since we’re both practically fetuses just out of school, I’ll buy you some ice cream and tell you funny stories.”
“And then, Tiger?”
“And then if you haven’t run, I’ll show you my crab boat.”
The other crabbers hit their heads and spit up their beer. Longstanding tradition among crabbers held that the only woman you showed the boat to was the spouse. Even the female crabbers observed the rule substituting men in all the right places. Tim and Magda left the Crab and Quill amid thunderous cheers.
“Oh, shit!” Ben blurted. “We created a monster. Our wives are going to kill us for dissing the newest member of their club like this.”
“They’re not going to do that for hiring a pro on TV?” George asked.
“Nah, the wives suggested this party minus the blown prank because they are very grateful for what Tim did last year,” Harold said shaking his head imagining his wife’s fury. “But, at least we have the whole crab season before the hammer falls.”
At that the men clinked and drained beers before leaving to tend their ships. George sat a moment waiting for a dragonfly camera to land on the table. He activated the audio only feature to start his voice over.
“The night before the opening of the Nebula Crab season is a study in contrasts,” George said. “Tough men who can enjoy a prank and still keep respect can be laid low for fear of their wives.”
PART 4 – DUE 4/15/11
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